Courteny and her husband Brent's maternity photo session here in Lethbridge was something I had been excitedly planning & dreaming on for a few months prior. She specifically requested this waterfall in Sunridge, and I was excited to use this location as I had been here a thousand times before with my kids, when we used to live on the west side.
As I photographed Courteny, I was reminded of all of the feelings that brand new motherhood brings. So today I have compiled a short list of 5 messages for the brand new mother. These are quick anecdotes that I learnt in my very beginning stages of motherhood, but didn't really realize how true they were until I reflected back on this time in my life. These are the things I think every new mom should know.
1. You will not know everything, and that's okay.
When I was pregnant, and thereafter, I continually read parenting books and information on feeding, sleeping, activities, you name it. I was constantly trying to discern what to do, what not to do, when to do it, when not to do it, and how and how not to do it from every source of knowledge I could get my sleep deprived eyes on. I wanted to make sure I was doing the absolute best I possibly could. But I realized that you won't know everything, and that really is okay. Because...
2. You are the mom your baby needs.
You have grown this little being inside of you, they know the sound of your heartbeat from the inside of your body and you know theirs. You have provided nourishment and life for this little one, and you are the mom your baby needs. No matter your perceived faults, or flaws, YOU are the one they chose. Never forget that. So...
3. Take every piece of advice with a grain of salt.
No two babies are the same, and your baby won't be the same as someone else's. Think about your siblings; even though you share the same DNA with them, how different are you from one another. So just because something worked for one mama at the grocery store check out line, doesn't mean it's going to work for your little one. And that's okay. We're all trying to get to the same goal in motherhood, but there are many paths to get there. Which means...
4. Listen to your own intuition.
You are now the advocate for someone else's entire life. If something doesn't feel right, doesn't feel normal, doesn't feel as it should, that's probably your intuition communicating with you. Don't ever be afraid to listen to it. As new moms it can feel so unnerving to realize all that you don't know, but remember it's okay to get a second opinion, it's okay to call the doctor multiple times, it's okay to be concerned for your little one. That's literally your job. And when it gets overwhelming, remember...
5. Breath. Count to 10. Try again.
You will never get anything perfect with parenting. You will have good moments and bad moments, sometimes back to back. Remember there's no awards for parenting , so just try to breath through those times when you have no idea what you're doing. I did a lot of counting to 10 when my kids were babies, crying even though I tried everything I could think of to console them. We all begin our journey as new moms with no clue what we're doing really, and we grow with our children. We become better and different moms as they grow older, and as they change so do we.
So if you're a mom reading this blog, and you remember what those first few tireless weeks feel like, can you comment with your own message for the brand new mom. I am sure there are 1000 things I missed, but these are the very basics of what I learned in those first few weeks. Welcome to this community of parents Courteny & Brent, we are glad you're here!